It’s easy to say we forgive, but from the heart?  Most Christians think that forgiveness is a blank slate like emptying the trash on the computer: all gone and all over.  Others think that forgiveness must flow from love.  Others would point to the old language of the Lord’s Prayer: “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”  What happens when a debt is paid in full?  Does that person qualify for more credit?

I’ve been thinking that it’s easy to forgive when you can rationalize it: oh they didn’t really mean to do that or under the circumstances I can understand.  But what if you just can’t understand?  And here I think we begin to get to the heart of God.  I wonder just how God can understand when I constantly come back to him and ask for forgiveness.  So in a sense my exploration of forgiveness is really a way of getting in touch with God’s heart.

Starting out my exploration I went to an old sermon handout from Pastor Pautz’ July 21, 2002 message titled “Forgive One Another.”  The handout defined forgiveness:

1. It isn’t conditional.
2. It isn’t minimizing the seriousness of the offense.
3. It isn’t a fully restoring a relationship without changes.
4. It isn’t forgetting what happened.
5. It IS relinquishing all rights to get even (Rom 12:19).
6. It IS responding to evil with good (Luke 6:27-28).

Numbers three and four have me a bit puzzled.  The rest I agree with.  I am trying to work through the emotional and heart connection that practically comes from not restoring and forgetting.  How does this prevent bitterness and grudges?  I do understand that you don’t put an alcoholic in a bar during the first week of AAA but is that what God does with us?

The Ex

Originally uploaded by viewfromtheheitz

This is a wonderful painting by my friend Michelle. I’ve named it “The Ex” because as the story goes she painted this during a protracted breakup period. Michelle is a great artist and one of the more interesting creative people I know. She’s probably working her magic on a new line of nutritious breads for local coffee houses, but one day she will get back to painting. The Ex is now prominently featured in my home with the frame picked out by my sister Lindsay. Good choice on the frame Lindsay. I’m accepting offers on reproductions with proceeds going to the artist.

The service began outside the sanctuary with exorcisms for both the mother and the sponsors for “in order for one to belong to God, one must be completely separated from Satan.”   Also many things were done in triplicate for Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  This emphasis on “three” carried over to the actual application of water as Gerald was immersed three times.  They actually had what my brother referred to jokingly as “the Stanley cup” where Gerald was almost fully immersed.   “The life into which one is born in baptism is the life of the Holy Trinity…one in essence and undivided.”

According to orthodoxy, baptism is rebirth while chrismation is the bestowing of the Holy Spirit which gives power to live a new life.  Gerald was anointed with special oil called Holy Chrism which represented the “seal of the gift of the Holy Spirit.” 

As I think more about it chrismation is so important and so often neglected.  And it’s definitely not a sacrament for most of Christianity.  Luther talks about living in our baptismal grace or remembering our baptismal identity as a child of God, but maybe what we really need is more emphasis on the power in which we can live in this identity. It’s so easy for Satan to make us believe we can do it on our own and blur the separation of the old and new person until we struggle to live in our baptismal grace under our own power instead of the power of the spirit.

Towards the end of the service came the cutting of hair.  When the priest mentioned this included not just the baby but also sponsors I was a little panicked.  Little Gerald Allen already has more hair than I do.  Thankfully, I got out with my hair intact, but Gerald had hair removed in four places to form the sign of the cross.  This was Gerald’s first offering: “an offering of himself…a sign of dedication, commitment, and obedience, as well as faithful service to God.”  This tied right in to my readings this week in Romans:  “use your whole body as a tool to do what is right for the glory of God.”  (Romans 6:13b) 

Another word used often in the sacrament was the word “illumination.”  It really struck me probably because I was holding a candle the entire service.  The candle symbolized the Christians receiving Christ who is the light of the Word.  How much we need this Christ light and the power of the Holy Spirit to in order to live that light.

Yes, it has taken me a good week to decide but I am going to do the right thing…  I can’t believe I am going to have a UofA license plate.  Ahh… I want to scream and use obscenities.  But I won’t.  That would only make Patrick happy.  So you’ll have to check out the license plate next time you see me.  And yes, I may be in sackcloth and ashes.  But then again Ash Wednesday is coming up soon. 

If the Devils beat the Wildcats tonight then my friend who has a UofA license plate of YUMMIE will have to change to an ASU license plate and add a rainbow sticker to his rear window,

But if the Devils loose then I have to get a UofA plate that says ASU LOST or similar.

Finding out after I made the bet that the Devils were winless didn’t help.  And no, I wont be traveling to Tucson to watch tonights match up.  But I am calling on all ASU fans to hope and pray for a big upset victory!

Father, let me dedicate all this year to you,
In whate’er my earthly state, In what e’er I do.
Not from sorrow, pain, or care freedom dare I claim;
This alone shall be my prayer: Glorify your name.
Christian Worship #75

What struck me about this hymn, and notice that I am deliberately using hymn and not “God’s Word,” were two things that are key our personal growth.  First we must accept that growth isn’t pain free, when we claim freedom from pain we never grow.  And secondly the great inward cry that should mark our days: Glorify your name.  My goal this year is to re-orient my thinking around this theme–Glorify your name.

How does this tie into false starts and New Year’s resolutions?  How did Jesus start his ministry, what was one of the first things he preached?  Matthew 4:17 says:

From that time on Jesus began to preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.”

Daily repentance and living in our baptismal grace is a key part of the life of the believer.  False starts and repentance all remind us of our deep need for a savior.  Hmm… That sounds like instead of me it’s God.  This alone shall be my prayer: Glorify your name.